Moving to Bend, OR!!?!?!

I am following a crazy boy across country to Bend, OR. I have never been to this place, I don't have a job there, and we don't have endless savings. It sounds crazy, and it is. I'm completely lost with no direction. At least I can admit it. I am twenty seven and I have several years experience in the service industry, a boyfriend and a truck. I have no passions, I am dedicated to nothing. I am a free agent, a floating body with an empty head. My family is no better than me - disorganized, cluttered, without direction. I have a desire within me for direction but nowhere to follow it. Every path seems insurmountable.

Perhaps in order to find my passions I need to stop taking life so seriously. Don't be hard on myself or others. Accept others and the world as it is. Accept my family for who they are and realize that they are a part of me.

My goals for Bend are to maintain organization, save money, find passions and above all work every moment of every day on total acceptance of myself and others. Respect others for their tenacity and hard work instead of criticizing what they don't have or what they don't do.

I need to relinquish control over other's lives and retain focus on my own. Sure, I am making this decision based on wanting to continue my relationship with Rusti, but I can still do things my own way and let him do them his way. Also I need to be aware of when our paths converge and when they diverge.

I must be open to the future. I cannot control what will happen, all I can do is take care of the things that are immediate priorities. Working in the service industry is not a long term solution for me, but who knows where it may lead. I am still young and I have a different path than others. Bend is included in that path for better or for worse. I will make the most of my time there. I will not look too far ahead into the future, instead I will plan for the next moment and maybe the next day. That is what I know I can handle. I will take opportunities as they are presented to me, and be patient. I must not bite off more than I can chew.

I need to remember the lessons I have learned over time. To live life on my own terms, not for other people. That it is rewarding to save for a goal and see it to fruition. This goal does not have to be for someone else, it could be for me. No compromises. Attitude is everything. To be positive and not critical, especially in the workplace. This is the newest lesson I have learned and probably the most important. The workplace has always been my achilles heel, and the reason why is because I am overly critical of it. This spreads diseased thoughts throughout the workplace. My goal in Bend is to be happy with whatever job I end up with. I will strive to maintain an accepting state of mind and I will do my best to choose my workplace instead of settling for it. In this way I hope to create a long term work environment so that I can grow in other areas without being stressed out about money.